This is Where I Speak

"The End is Near . . . ish"

2007-04-14T18:01:16Z

HOLY CRAP! I had no idea that ANYONE would EVER marry Adam Savage (from MythBusters)! He is so weird, I mean I guess that's not a bad thing, but he is weird in an almost bad way. Oh well, I love MythBusters either way.
If you have sex with a werewolf, would you change into a werewolf? Oh, Supernatural, the things you make me thinkg about. It's enough to make my brain break.
"It's spring, when natura traditionally gets it on."
Spring break is almost here. A week of relaxation at the family cabin. Just me and one other person. Thaaaaank goodness.
I haven't worn any makeup for the past few days. It doesn't matter. I don't wear much make anyway, and no one ever notices when I don't, in fact psople usually say I look nice that day. Lying bastards.
The bois on the Daily Show (With Jon Stewart) and Stephen Colbert really turn me on . . . I hate Carlos Mencia. Did you know that he's mostly German and only like a sixteenth Hispanic.
"It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual."
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-s-e-v-e-n-d-a-y-s/omigosh!-

"I Hate Everything About You . . . So, Why Do I Love You?"

2007-03-22T03:30:53Z

I feel like I'm dying . . . I'm so worn out from everything. I'm resisting the urge to do things that I know I will regret. Sewing is a nice outlet, but it's no helping. I'm just getting frustrated. Ergh . . . Naruto is annoying in English.
I should have done my homework a long time ago, but I didn't, because I have pretty much given up on everything in my life. At first I thought I had a reason not to write the paper because nothing was working and the guy it was about was boring as hell, but it turns out that Ben Jonson is freakin' awesome! Go ahead, look him up! He's fantastic!
I should start doing people favors online. I should run a site where I'll do people's homework for them. I'd just give everyone a guarantee that they might not get an A. They should probably be happy with a B. And I'll only do it if I feel like it. So, it wouldn't work in the end, but I would do it for free if I was in the mood. I do these kind of things for my friends anyway.
I think I may be wearing myself too think. When the weekend comes I just crash. I sleep until two in the afternoon and go to sleep at nine (pm).
The work bed is so cool. Because it looks like a bed from the side. The "b" and "d" are the head and foot boardds, and the "e" is a mattress!
I wanted to dye my hair, but the hair dy has disappeared. I'll try tomorrow.
I have this friend, I call him Bambi, which isn't all that unusual for me because I call Sajaya (on American Idol) Bambi too. Bambi is a good nick name. It sticks to whoever you call it. Almost everyone I know calls my friend Bambi and almost everyone I know calls Sanjaya Bambi because I told them that's what I call them. Anyway, Bambi (my friend, Bambi) and I are pretty good friends. I love him, not like I would ever go out with him because that's just gross, but I still love him because he's a really good friend of mine. The problem is people seem to think that I can't have a friend that is a boy, that we have to be more than friends. Not the case. See, it doesn't bug me that people think we're more than friends, I've gotten used to it. What really gets me pissed, is that the people who are more persistent about it are people who call themselves my friends. They don't just talk about it in front of Bambi and me, but they also talk about it over the phone. What a waste of a conversation! I kind of hate it. One of them has been insulting me for a while. Half of the time it's an accident, but that doesn't really make it any better for me. And she wonders why I don't hang out with her anymore?
"How much ground can a groundhog hog if a groundhog is ground up!?"
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-maskedpinatas-unicornsintheirgraves-

"Silly Rabbit, Kicks are for Ribs!"

2007-03-01T03:24:20Z

I'm failing classes. Something like this would have bugged me just last week because I'm a perfectionist. Now, I have accepted that God does not want me to pass my last year of high school. I'm not being pessimistic. I have two papers that I have to write, due tomorrow. Number one, it requires online research. Number two, it was already mostly completed, but I was going to print it up tonight. The computer that it's saved on, and the one that will connect to the internet will not boot up. My life is not usually so horrible, but now it is.
It's annoying. for a long time, about three, possibly four months, no guys liked me. Now, within a day, three guys have told me that they LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE me. What the hell is wrong with people these days!? I don't care how they feel! I'm glad that they like me, but I don't want three people, two of whom have girlfriends to tell me that they love me and want to be with me. What kind of slut do they think I am??? I would never let them cheat on their girlfriends for me. Then when I said that, one of them replied, "You're a really nice and loyal person, aren't you?" NO! I'm a normal person. You're an ass. Any sensible person would respond the way I did. One girl said that one of the guys had been wanting to get me into bed for months. What am I to them? This is freakin' annoying! I am kinda horny though . . .
I was watching American Idol. I never watch American Idol because it's really stupid. Anyway, one guy, I believe his name is Chris, sang a song by my personal . . . I'm not sure what I should call him, but I have a big crush on him, Jason Mraz. Geek in the Pink is one of the best songs and in my opinion, Jason has one of the best voices ever, the only person who might have had a better voice was Freddy Mercury. Anyway, first of all the band completely butchered the song, and then he began to sing. HORRIBLE! He got some of the words wrong! AND he just didn't sound good! And to add insult to injury (for Jason anyway) Randy said he sounded better than the original! maybe Randy was deaf??? I don't know, I hated that. It made me sooooooooooooo mad!!!
"1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war, 5, 6, 7, 8, with this hand I masturbate."
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-happilyeverafterbelowthewaist-

"Open Up Your Eyes, I Want to Watch You Cry"

2007-02-18T23:24:42Z

The last post was actually written on the second of February I think.
Occasionally I will post something about wishing my life was over. This is one of those posts. Why should I end my life? Because I'm never going to make it anywhere in my life. I screw up far too often, and freak out when I need to make things right. I'm surprised I've made it this far in my life. My only regret would be not seeing what I could be . . . although, I would probably regret not getting to see how my death affected different people. How would my mother react? Would my father care? Would Josh notice? Would Sky think I was total crazy? Would I be hated? would I be remembered? Honored? It wouldn't matter because I'd be dead, but it would be interesting . . .
The water that I'm treading in is so deep. I'm trying to keep my head above it, but I'm failing. I'm drowning. I'll delete my entries before I commit suicide. They won't read my thoughts.
"Live free or die. Give blood. They wouldn't take ours."
"I only keep myself this sick in the head 'cause I know how it gets you (off)."
Fall Out Boy put out a great new CD. I was afraid it would sound like Panic! At the Disco, due to rumors, but only parts of it sound a tiny bit similar, but not enough so to actually make me think about PATD while listening to their CD, which was actually my only worry. I like to focus on the band that I'm listening to.
"In the crowd of pain, St. Jimmy comes up without any shame. He says 'We're fucked up.' But we're not the same, and Mom and Dad are the ones you can blame."
My ipod is working, but I'm having trouble transferring files. I can't get the right mp3s on or off my ipod programs. So, it's more like my itunes program is acting up.
Going to a FOB concert so I'll have to put off my suicide plans until after May 7th.
"You know that I'm toxic."
I respect Britney Spears more now that she has shaved her head. She finally doesn't care what people think about her. Her life should be a little easier now. Not much, but a little perhaps.
"Sing it Again, Rookie Biatch!"
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-listentotheband-

"You Say You Want to See the Worl For What it Really is. I Can Show You, But You'll Have to . . . "

2007-02-18T22:54:28Z

Open Your Eyes for Yourself"

I went to formal. I didn't dance with my date, but I did dance with four other people. Only three of them were boys. When I first got there I just stood with Sarah and waited for everyone to arrive (I forgot my top hat -_-) and that REALLY bugged me!). I still got my picture taken with Meg and Lane (not with Kameron, strangely enough). I did have fun, and the drinks were really good! ^-^ Well, anyway, my dress ripped at one point. Thank God. I seriously didn't give a damn. I was pretty much just . . . ho hum throughout the entire affair. When people went out onto the dance floor (Eddie and Chris [both boys] were the first to dance, I only got one horrid picture of them! I was too far away to get a decent one) I reluctantly followed, but didn't dance until about the third song, and that was against my will. One moment I was saying that I didn't dance, the next I was in the middle of the dance floor with a guy. Not just any guy. The PRINCIPAL! It was so hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing! I'm not sure if he understood why I kept laughing so much. I could also hear Meg, Heidi, madison and Sarah all laughing their asses off. Although, the only distinct words that I heard were "Why didn't you give me the camera!?" In truth, the only reason why I didn't give Meg my camera was because the principal had grabbed me too quickly. I would have loved to see the look on my face while I was dancing with him, just because he got kinda . . . handsy. O.O His hand was actually touching my bare back, and my dress didn't go THAT low. He wasn't trying to be a pervert. He just knew what he was doing. Then I hung out with some people while the announced the princess, prince, kings and queens. This is where my school becomes so horrible. They only choose the really preppy, friendly girls to run for that kind of thing. I mean they get to choose who runs, not the students. Not that I would actually want that. I would decline it if I did win, but I'm sure that there are other girls who aren't preps that would want it. And I talked with anyone who would talk to me, and then I danced "wildly" with Sarah. I pretty much just jumped around like a rabid monkey. I tried to convince Ty (one of my exes) to dance, because he hadn't danced all night! Even I had danced! He wouldn't be persuaded, so instead I danced with a kid whose name I believe is Kyle??? Neither of us knew how to dance and I kept muttering "One. Two," under my breath the entire time. We just wanted to make Ty jealous so that he might dance. Or at least Kyle did, he thought that Ty still liked me . . . I really don't, but Ty ended up dancing with me anyway. Everyone was so happy that he finally danced with someone. I gladly took all of the praise even though Mr. Hayes (the principal) truly deserved it. I went home early because I wanted to eat pizza and cake. I think that toward the end Kyle began to think that I liked him. Boys always seem to think that I'm flirting with them, but I sear that I don't. It's a horrible thing for them to think. I have high standards, for the most part I think that they're cute, but not THAT cute.
I remember a few year back, I read a parody. It was . . . strange. I remember thinking before picking it up "maybe I'm not mature enough for this material yet." As I read the book I realized how right I had truly been . . . it was only after finshing "Barry Trodder and the Unauthorized Parody" that I looked at the back and saw this warning: "If you are wondering if this book is too adult for you, than it probably is." I reread the book a while later and now I love. the point of this story is not desensitization, although that would be the easier way out. The real explanation is that absurd things always stick out in the mind. Even three years after reading that book for the first time, I could still recite several lines from it because they were so strange. A few days back, one of my friends complained that no one will remember her. She is neither absurd or explicit. Therefore, no one will remember her. Do something out of the ordinary. People will recognize you for it. People may mock you for being different, but you can still mock them for being the same.
Why are there about fifty thousand award shows a year for actors? They are already held up on a pedestal all year 'round. Why must we worship them anymore? and why honor them for something that everyone can do? Anyone can act. If you can lie, you can act. It's a simple fact. Don't love them for something that you can do yourself. I understand directors annd special effect guys, script writers, etcetera for their achievements, because that actually takes talent, but acting? No. Comedians deserve awards more than Brad Pitt or Cameron Diaz. If you want to see real talent, you should watch "Comedy Central Presents . . ." (ignore Sarah Silverman).
Yeah, I hate society.
"I've got a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box with the word 'time machine' written in sharpie."
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-iLOVEdemetrimartin-

"They Wouldn't Know Real Culture if it Hit Them Like a Truck Full of Cement

2007-01-25T03:29:42Z

I hate the Black Eyed Peas, why am I listening to them? When it comes down to what music you like, it doesn't matter what relation you hold to them.
I will admit now that I am emo. Weird. I mean it feels really weird to actually admit to it, I guess. When I was younger, and I didn't know what emo was, I was way more emo than I am now. It is only now that I have given up on trying to be like I once was (not necessarily emo, but quiet) did I actually achieve my original goal. The problem: I want to be what I was when I was trying to be my original me. I had finally accepted who I was only to change again. It all feels so out of my hands. The solution: give up, accept who you are and stop whining. Accept your destiny, and do not fight it. I was never destined for something great anyway.
I figure I should probably make some sort of resolution considering that's what everyone is doing and have been doing for the past few centuries. Here they are:
1) Work more on guitar. I already know how to play, but I have this . . . thing. Some people call it obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). In laymen's terms: I'm a perfectionist. I'm a perfectionist that doesn't give a damn, if that makes any sense. But it's not as severe as some people's; I don't have strange rituals that I must follow, lest I be condemned to a life of misery. Although, I do have some rituals, but just little things.
2) Attend both Sakauracon and Kumoricon in full costume for at least two days each.
3)This one ties into ^that one.^ Complete the following costumes: Anemone (Eureka Seven), Guu (Hare nochi Guu), Hinata (Naruto), Rock Lee (hahahaha! Naruto), Thai (? Avatar: the Last Air Bender), and Fuu (Samurai Champloo). Including accessories.
4) Come up with a better comeback than "I hope you choke on your own scampi!"
5) Do more charity work.
6) Add another name to my dog's full name (his full name is currently Moose Eugene Orlando Oliver Alexander Horatio Luke Lupe [he has three last names]). I haven't had to use his full name since the last time he wet himself a few years back, so it might be safe to add yet another name. The problem with adding another name to his very, very full name is that I have to remember yet ANOTHER name even if I never have to use it (he actually knows all of his name, it's awesome!).
Well, ^that^ should tide me over for a while.
I never dream anymore, or if I do, I don't remember them. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not . . . the last dream that I had, I knowingly (not REALLY knowingly, but in my dream I KNEW) denied my God. When I woke up, I started praying so hard for forgiveness. Yes, I am what some would consider a Jesus freak, not nearly so clean as I should be, though. DWI (deal with it). This was because I believed that on some level, maybe I had seriously KNOWN and purposely denied Him. It freaked me out enough to the point where I actually read the Bible out of sheer curiosity instead of a heavy guilt or just research. I'll admit it was partly guilt, but after a few days it was out of choice and . . . well, a newly developed habit. Dreams can be scary things. That was the first nightmare-ish dream I have had in a long time, and although to some it may not be that scary, to me it was one of the most horrifying things that I had ever seen. I've never had your typical nightmares before. My father says it's because I'm able to separate reality from fiction easier than most, and a lot of people have nightmares due to something that they've seen on TV or in a movie or some such nonsense. I would think most people would have bad dreams because of the experiences that they've had, not because of what they've seen. I'm not saying that I can't "separate fiction and reality better than most" in fact I pride myself on being able to sit through some of the movies that scare others the most without even flinching; even though I am rather jumpy when it comes to things in real life, but that's not my fault. It's because people (boys oddly enough. Boys are never good friends without ulterior motives) always jumped out from behind corners just to hear me scream.
I love no one. I don't mean to sound so cryptic, I just literally don't love anyone. I sort of love someone, but it's conditional. If I'm happy, then I'll love people. If I'm angry or just plain moody I'll hate everyone. And the only kind of real love is unconditional. I've only truly loved one person and now I hate him. There's only three THINGS I hate and on the top of the list is betrayal. If I love you despite everything that's wrong with you and you betray me, that will ruin the unconditionality of the love I hold for you, or at least that's what happened with my first boyfriend.
I wish I hadn't dated so much . . . I might like people a little more if I hadn't.
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-WhyAreThereSoManyPlayers-

"You Don't Listen Do You?" "I Try Not To, It Gets In the Way"

2007-01-05T05:40:10Z

Everything I write is going horribly wrong. I usually let my emotions do the writing (and talking) but I am currently experiencing no emotion. I have fractured many different parts of my body, I'm not sure why I'm so reckless, I just am, no tears were shred at those points. But if people whom I love say cruel things about me, I have no chance. So, I have lost my weakness, which is a plus. However, this means that I have also lost my strength.
New Year's Eve is probably the best holiday out there. Unless there's a day when you just have to sit around in men's underwear and drink sparkling apple cider or champagne all day while watching Supernatural or concert DVD's. It would be called "Sit-Around-in-Men's-Underwear-and-Drink-Champagne-While-Watching-Concert-DVD's-or-Hot-Guys-Killing-Demons Day" or at least that is what I am assuming. There's not much creativity alive in the people's souls these days.
I wish Omar G. would write more. If you don't read his works, you really should. He recaps Smallville and I believe Charmed on www.televisionwithoutpity.com. That's the best place to go if you've missed an episode of your favorite TV show ;) I don't actually watch Smallville. I just read what he has to say about it. However, I will admit to watching Supernatural, and I used to watch Gilmore Girls -_- against my will though. I usually stick to Stephen Colbert and South Park. That's where you're safest: Comedy Central.
Good Charlotte has been copied by so many people now. All of them are girls. O.O GC wrote a song entitled "Complicated" on their first album. A year later, Avril Lavigne (sp?) comes out with a song called "Complicated" <(made a fantastic parody! "Why you gotta make me so constipated?"). On the Chronicles of Life and Death, they had a song entitled "SOS". Guess what Rihana's (sp?) song was colled. "SOS". I bet there were more. Although, I believe Bon Jovi wrote a song entitled "Complicated" too, and I'm willing to bet that it came out at least a short while before GC's.
Well, I hate Ryan Seacrest (sp? I'm really not good with the last names of people whom I don't like) and that girl who he was working with. KT Tunstall's pants scared me . . . Rascal Flatt's Keyboarder was really getting into the music . . .
I want to be good at writing again!
This is gonna sound kinda self-destructive, but why do I live? I have no purpose that I can see, and all I do is listen to music and do homework. I have somewhat of a social life, but having friends does not a life purpose make. Nor does having a full schedule. I'm having a lack of faith, and a lack of love, a lack of emotion and a lack of hate. I need to regain it all, but it's out of my grasp, and in someone else's hands now.
Or that's the only somewhat logical explanation that I can come up with.
I was suspended from all sports at my school because I get too into it . . . or "aggressive as they put it . . . I don't mean to.
"Talking is just a waste of breath and living is just a waste of death"
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-dontcyoversomeonewhowontcryoveryou-

^The title was between "The Holiday Whore" and "Santa's Slut"^
(You can't see the socks! The socks are great!)

"Wii Would Like to Play"

2006-12-16T04:34:15Z

I'm not very happy . . . but I guess I am content.
I saw my dad for the first time in three weeks. Sometimes he knows when to back off; I'll give him that. And as I put down on my mood, I am very confused, and am unsure of where my life is heading.
My confidence is waning, and my mind is tired. I'm thirsting for something new, but I can't seem to keep my focus in class. I want to sleep, but I have been lacking the ability to relax. My fear of failing classes keeps me on edge. My grades are dropping, but sadly they are still much higher than the average of the rest of the class. My 4.0 is no longer that, it is now an estimated 3.7. I have always prided myself on my grades, which are now barely above what I consider average (possibly I should say it is what I consider barely instead of average). All the other morons at my school seem to think that a 3.7 is still good. Let me spell it out for them: I have seven classes; having a 3.7 means that, if my estimations are correct, I should have four A's TWO A-'s :'( and this one is truly depressing: a B! I have never had a B in my life, and I have never had an A- on a report card (progress report, whatever! I don't care!)! I want my concentration back, and possibly my ability to remember the things that I am taught.
I do love sex-ed. Although, the only that that it has accomplished is further corrupting my mind.
I made an ornament for one of "creative" assignments.He is an elf, named Stephen, named after Stephen Colbert. He lost the glasses that I made for him.
I've been reading Catcher in the Wry. It's good. It was banned.
I'm tired. I'm thirsty.
It snowed today. Actually it was rain-snow, also known as sleet.
People forgot about me. I was stuck at school for twenty minutes before the rain cleared and I finally decided to walk to my aunt's house. About ten minutes into the walk, it began to rain again. That was fine. the thought that ran through my head? It went something like this: "Okay, so it's raining, it always rains in Washington. Now, when it starts to snow, then I can complain." The snow began to fall shortly after that. "Okay, so it's snowing. What are the odds? It never snows in this town, and I never have to walk home (actually to my aunt's house, and I have walked home a few times, but that was before our town's murder rate rose to third highest in the state O.O) from school, but at least there is no chance I'll get struck by lightning." Sometimes I can be an optimist, and that is proof to all my friends who say that I am a pessimist.
[I wish I had a car]
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?
-growswithakiss-

"Happy Turkey Butchering Day. (Eat ToFurkey, Save a Cow)"

2006-11-26T00:11:08Z

A few days ago was Thanksgiving, but more importantly one of my friend's birthday!
And I was saw the worst movie ever made. I think my whining made it worse though. I did not want to go to that movie, but my mother made me. The Santa Clause III: The Escape Clause is so pathetic. The only good part was the fact that Martin Short was in it. Martin Short is awesome, but even he didn't have enough power to save that movie. And what's up with Mrs. Claus being knocked up? Santa had sex? That's creepy.
If there's one thing I can say about Thanksgiving, it's that nothing gets me in a bad mood like it does. My sister and I watched the Macy's Parade. We were so mean. It was funny. One of them was there was a lady who was like 101 years old, and Matt Lauer said "She's still beautiful," to which I replied, "Really? I think she's kinda ugly." Then we made fun of the Barbie float. Ken (or whoever it was that she dumped Ken for) was gay and could barely lift her five inches off the ground, if even that. We insulted everyone on the television. Not so much the performers, (I know it's hard to do that in front of so many people and cameras) just Barbie, the people who put up commercials and the announcers.
We retreated to the kitchen, like good pilgrims, and happened up on a covered dish (Thanksgiving isn't very formal in our family). Upon revealing the substance inside, my sister let out a shocked shriek of "What is that crap!?" We were scolded for insulting Gladys's meal and then for calling her Gladys. Apparently, her name is Margaret. In my sister's defense, Gladys's creation of potatoes covered in caramel sauce did greatly resemble crap in both appearance and taste.
After most of the family had left we were able to cherish the silence. Now all who remained were my grandparents and direct family. I continued my pursuit of my newest ambition of sneezing out a candle. Unfortunately, I was unable to cross this action off of my "5,000 Things I Wanna Do Before the End of the Year" list. This wasn't the only process that was dependent on sneezing. I also wanted to sneeze with my eyes open. I was able to do that (of course I was holding my eyes open). But now I am no longer telling the story that I intended to tell.
I had been disappointed with the lack of chocolately goodness present in our meal. So when another one of my cousins (who had been informed that we were getting together at a different time) stopped by with a batch of double chocolate cookies, I felt blessed and finally gave thanks.
^That was my touching Thanksgiving story^
This is my touching Black Friday story:
(This was written while shopping w/old people -_-)
Black Friday makes me realize how truly anti-social I am. Especially when you take into consideration my uncanny adoration of plushies ^-^ (it's my guilty pleasure, along with action figures and country music videos). What kind of plushie lover hates people? I'll admit that I don't truly hate other humans, but I am less fond of them than most things, like third degree burns, the flu and STDs.
This day is a rip off either way you look at it. I knew the "sales" wouldn't be that great, because let's face it: It's very rare to find someone in the merchandise industry who aspires to bring happiness to others. Not that I believe material items can create happiness ;) But I was always told that people were vicious on Black Friday. I have seen none of it. I WANT MY RAGING MOB OF ANGRY GRANDMOTHERS! The hot chocolate is good, though. I don't drink coffee and I only drink pop once every few months.
One pleasantry that I did come across was a Fur Real Friend. Or some name to that effect. The little snow lion is so cute ^-^
"Target is my gay dream!"
Sorry, ^that's^ an inside joke! One of my guy friends always says that when we enter Target because of an episode that we watched right before going to Target.
If I were to compare our weather to any song, it would have to be the Chronicles of Life and Death. Just because of the line "You come in cold, you're covered in blood . . ." No one is really covered in blood. It's just wet. I have a feeling that's not exactly what Benji and Joel wrote that song about. But at the moment, for me anyway, that's what it boils down to.
Back to my shopping adventure (I don't go shopping a lot. Can you tell?)! Shortly after leaving Target, I had a near death experience O.O Not so near death that I could have actually died. So, I guess that completely defeats the purpose of using the phrase "near death." I could have broken my foot though. That is if I had been stupid enough to wedge it under the tire of a semi truck. I'm sure I could have pulled it off.
(This entire segment is going to be in parentheses because it's not essential to the overall layout of this journal entry. I'm just wondering something. Other girls seriously talk about what makeup they wear? And while I'm talking about makeup: Why does Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter [sorry, I don't know her name] dress and do her makeup like a mini-prostitute? She has a pretty face. She doesn't need so much makeup.)
The only thing else worth mentioning is my new mcrad hat that I bough at Hot Topic. And the hair dye that I bough at surprise, surprise, Hot Topic. Currently, they are the only store in our local mall worth buying from. Wait. Sun Coast and Sam Goody are good stores too . . . put it this way: Any store that sells good music is a good store (yes, I realize that Sun Coast does not specialize in music, but it does sell anime) . . . Okay the bookstores are welcome to stay in the mall . . . OH! And the video game store (EB Games and Game Stop, but I don't like the latter).
Kay kay, that's the end of my Black Friday. I'll take a picture of my history project! ^-^ You'll love it! Here:

She said we didn't have to be very creative. That was actually just a portion of it; my favorite portion of it.
Hasta la tootles,
Casey
-help!ivelostmyvoice!-

No Friends, No Loved Ones. I Am Alone

2006-11-17T23:38:51Z

:'(
I don't want this life anymore.
-hatredconsumesmysoul

"Poor Thanksgiving . . . It's Been Forgotten. I Just Feel Sorry for the Pilgrims."

2006-11-13T00:50:03Z

I have once again decided to copy Jwalk's idea on the Panic! site, 'cept I have many more thoughts. Here are some of them in alphabetical:
-30 Seconds to Mars deserves even more attention
-ABC is making a new album?
-Alphabetizing things makes me almost as happy as making lists
-Am I the ONLY person who doesn't like Kelly Clarkson
-A real meal is nice for a change
-Batman Forever is the best Batman movie ever made
-Catholics are naughty
-Collin Machery (sp?) and Phil Collins are the most adorable old, bald guys you'll find
-Does anyone really care what MTV thinks anymore?
-Eye of the Tiger really IS the best song to workout to
-Final Fantasy XII is the best game I have played since Dirge of Cerberus
-French kissing has temporarily lost its appeal
-Gerard Way isn't very attractive
-Hospitals scare me O.O
-How can someone have never heard of Styx before?
-How many people have called the numbers "867-5309" and "555-0123" (God's number in Bruce Almighty)?
-Iron Maiden is back?
-I'm worried that I'll be killed by fangirls at the PATD concert
-I'm not THAT emo, not at all
-I've got PATD on the brain
-I could write a hit song about my new shoes
-I don't think anyone in PATD is particularly attractive
-I don't think my dad has liked any of the guys I've dated
-I have dated a wide variety of boys. Too many
-I have too many CDs
-I would never get along with the members of any of my favorite bands
-Jason Mraz is the perfect man
-Justin isn't the right person to bring sexy back
-Michael Jackson may have some nasty habits, but people need to stop letting their sons hang out at his house
-The Monkees is still the best show on television
-Mormons are generally pleasant
-My boyfriends never get along with my other friends. That's why I don't have a date to formal
-My camera is finally fixed
-People automatically think that any teenager under the age of seventeen who likes a band that has younger members is just a teeny bopper
-Pete Wentz looks like a young Val Kilmer
-Queen shouldn't have continued without Freddy
-Republicans are mean ='(
-Thanksgiving is the only holiday where the only thing that you do to celebrate is stuff your face and tell people what you're thankful for. Why isn't it more popular?
-The lines "I've been suicidal as of late. Fueled by my own anger, my own regret, and my own h ate" and "This room is under flood from the flow of my own blood" don't sound like my writing, but they are O.O
-White cats suck
-Why doesn't Jaret from BFS think highly of himself?
-Young people don't care about politics because a) when they were even younger, people told them that they didn't need to care about politics because this wouldn't effect them and b) Jon Stewart tells them that their vote doesn't count
-Your friends can't be too similar to you, but they can't be your exact opposite either
That should do it for now. If you have any answers to any of my questions: Please, do tell.
Hasta la tootles,
Casey

It's Easier to Show Love if You Do Love. Agreed?

2006-11-05T21:11:07Z

On Saturday, I visited my father. To most it is no big deal. To me, I'd rather die. He is my father, so naturally I do feel something similar to loyalty toward him. Just because I feel that way about him doesn't mean I feel the same about his family.
He and his wife have a beautiful baby girl who just turned a year old on the first of November. I agree she is adorabe, but just because I thinkshe is cute does not mean that I "love" her. Just because someone is supposedly related to you does not mean that you have to love them. I do not love my fahter either. I am, as mentioned before, somewhat loyal to him. The same can be said for this child, with the exception of being loyal. And I do not wish to speak with something that cannot comprehend a word that I am saying. The only thing that she says in return is "tickle, tickle, tickle." While that is lovely, it isn't able to keep my interest for lon. My father says that if his family acted that way because she could not give an intelligible answer then she would never leanr. The difference: She is their child. They care about her. Yes, I would help if she was in danger, the same as I would help anyone else, but I have no intention of having a sisterly relationship with her. We're seventeen years apart, and she is only half-related to me. I figure that if I was fonder of my father, I might want to have a connection with my half sister, but my relationship isn't that great with him. He wants me to show affection to her, but I won't. There's no point. Sheis going to grow up to be a spoiled brat just as my stepsister is.
I suck up to my father a lot, and tell him that I love him because he's rich and my family is not. I get some nice things because of this. I know it may sound mean, but not everything in life is buble gum and lemon drops. That's the way life is. I don't do this as much because I'm trying to be more independent. And I have jobs now.
Riley and I kinda made up (in case I didn't post this on lj, he was kinda mad because I'm takingdiet pills and "95 pounds is small enough!" -_-). We took pictures together! I'll try to post some of them, when I get the chance. They're mmore of me than of him because h e likes to take pictures and I don't really care. One of 'em is of me looking really weird! It's his fault. I was copying him in another picture that we had together at a party last year. We were trying to look like dorks and it worked. But he had a weird almost square looking smile. That smile's cuter on him. I look like a nerd. Which is okay with me. He said I looked sexy, but I think he was kidding. It's great to have this feeling again. Then we watched a medical show. Normally I'm okay with this kind of thing, but Ry was trying to make me feel weird, so I started feeling sick (I love calling him Ry, I also have a friend named Logan who I call Log). After that show finished, I decided I needed to watch something happy. I made him watch the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
^-^
Need food
Must eat
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?

My little sister with her cake

"Tonight, You Shall Join Me and We Shall Drink Until You Call Me By My Name"

2006-11-04T04:35:14Z

Today has been a fairly good day. Other than learning that I was to receive an incomplete in one of my classes, my favorite class at that, everything seemed to go my way.
Final Fantasy XII is so different from any of their other games. Maybe not so much the character design, but the battle system really scares me. The enemies could always come out of no where, but now it just seems so much more scary O.O. Okay, I'm just no used to it, that's all. I hope that I will GET used to it very soon. Otherwise this could make the game very awkward for me. But I love the new moogles! They're so adorable! And so far the characters seem interesting enough. I can only guess that Ashe lied about her death. And I'm very disappointed in Basch for two reasons. One, for Killing Reks. And two, for calling him Rek once. More so the first than the second. The second fault was that of the voice actor's, or the people who didn't correct him. Whatever, I knew Reks was going to die in the first place. I kinda cheated and read the spoilers in Electronics Monthly, or some magazine to that effect. I don't really care because I only wasted my money on that snot rag so that I could learn more about FFXII. It's a pretty easy play anyway. Or, so far it is. (I use REALLY bad punctuation when I'm not getting graded on it. That's one of my pet peeves too!)
Okay, well as if getting the newest installment of Final Fantasy wasn't enough, I also fixed my camera ^-^ The battery spring, thing wouldn't pop back up like it was supposed to. So, I grabbed one of my dad's dentist's tools (I hope he sterilizes it) and popped it back out. Then I had to work on some programming error that my little stepsister had inflicted upon it, but that wasn't to hard. It still wants to go back to the error though. So, every time I turn it on, it's back to it's erroneous ways. I thought I was going to get the My Chemical Romance CD too, but my dad wouldn't go to Fred Meyer. I don't really care. I can live without it. I think it's funny that in one of our local music stores they actually classify some of their music as rebellious. That's what MCR, Panic! At the Disco, and AFI are under. I can kinda understand putting MCR under Rebellion, but PATD and AFI? C'mon, that is soooo off. 'Rebellious' isn't even a real genre, is it? I know that there's something called shegaze. That's what Jason Mraz classified his music as on Myspace, but that was a joke. I still have no idea what shoegaze is. If you have any idea please, do tell. Speaking of Myspace; I took a kinda quiz type thing. The things that they have in bulletins. I was told that I WAS, in fact emo. I don't really care. A few of the things that categorize you as an emo are 1) you write sad poems (my poems aren't REALLY sad, so it doesn't count. They have to be good to be sad) 2) you think emo guys/girls are hot and 3) you don't like to be called emo. I'm okay with being called emo. It doesn't really matter to me. If you wanna think I'm emo, go ahead. If you wanna think I'm a prep, that's okay. I really don't mind being classified (I will admit that it gets annoying, but it's human tendency), as long as you aren't classifying me as an anal slut, or anything too derogatory.
See how well my day went? Weeeeeell, I'm not done just yet! Finally, I came home, and I bought the PATD collector's box set thing. Actually, I pre-ordered it, but it's close enough, right? I'm really excited about that.
Everything went right. I'm sensing something dark in my future. Things never go well for me. And usually things get really bad and then EVERYTHING comes crashing down.
Inu Yasha is so cheesy, and Kagome is so annoying. Miroku rocks, though. So does Shippo and Inu Yasha himself. And, I do love the episode with the gay ninja. Nothing compares to Armstrong of Full Metal though.
I'm being kinda freakish today, 'cause nothing's gone wrong. So I have no reason to restrain myself. Usually it's my sadness, disappointment or fears that keeps me and my thoughts under control.
I have nothing more to say.
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?

"I Am the Clown With the Tear Away Face."

2006-10-31T05:21:05Z

(either always posting or never posting at all)
I'm just trying to write this because I have nothing better to do with my time. Here is me in a nutshell, or rather what I am doing in a nutshell.
Outfit
Undergarments
Bottoms: Super girl underwear
Top: Orange and red bra
Pants: Capris, black, Nightmare Before Christmas (Simply Meant to Be)
Top: Black Jack Skellington sweashirt.
Room: Livingroom
Closest item: Pillow
Closest living thing: Sasha
Currently watching: Nightmare Before Christmas
State of Room: Freakishly clean
Homework: Not done
Sad about: School tomorrow -_- Doing oral reports that I'm not ready for
Happy about: PANIC! AT THE MEMORIAL COLISEUM ON THE FIRST OF DECEMBER! 3D version of Nightmare Before Christmas, finally fulfilling a promise
Mad About: Not being able to beat the final boss in Dirge of Cerberus
Song stuck in my head: Panic!'s rendition of This is Halloween
Cell phone: a kindergartner away
Hoping: I'm not too far behind in homework after missing a day and a half
Wishing: That I could find something interesting to write about
Heroes: Superman, Ryan Ross and Tim Burton
Current injury: pain in my chest/ribs/back -_-
Makeup: None
Current favorite song: Killer Queen by Queen (That's been my favorite song for a LONG time, I'll tell ya if it changes)
Current favorite band: Panic! At the Disco
Current favorite video on Youtube: Advent Children scenes put to I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Biggest fears: The fact that Ryro may be getting too full of himself, and wasps

Okay, well I've been really bored. Today I pretty much just went to Office Max to check camera prices, because my camera is broken :'( and I went to Fred Meyer to pick up some pills to speed up metabolism, but they're like frickin' horse pills! They smell funny, but I don't really mind that. Let's see, then I came home and found some people's livejournal. Nothing actually interesting. I'm wondering why LJ is so popular and Open Diary isn't. I used to have an OD account, but I deleted it because I wasn't using it at all. I've gotten better at those kinds of things. But I still can't write on cue, I can only write if I'm sincerely in the mood. So, I keep on writing lame poems. I really prefer writing short stories. I have a little collection of them. They're all entitled Suicide, but only one of them actually deals with suicide. It's strange because I mentioned it to one of my newer friends, and I said just as a disclaimer that the stories weren't based on me, because I DO NOT need someone else thinking that I'm a melodramatic, suicidal, cliched teen. I'm not. I was. I'm not now. I'm still on anti-depressants though, and sometimes my thoughts wander to suicide and how much easier it would be, but I don't think I'd ever seriously go through with it. I'm too cowardly. But I was kinda known as being depressed and self-destructive for a while, and it's strange that I have forced my personality to change so much, that I'm almost unrecognizable. I mean, am I really that different? To go from being a pitiful child to being a somewhat cheerful teen. I miss my old self and sometimes I do revert back into what I was. I know that my friends and family don't miss that at all. They worried about me back then, but I think that I had (so cheesy) something of an air of mystery about me back then. I guess that's how life goes. They say that you can never change who you are on the inside, but it's so much easier than you would think. I did it. You can too. Anyone can. But I don't think that anyone should. Don't be miserable like me. I've become one of those people hide their feelings. I'd prefer to be emo than devoid of any sadness.
Hasta la tootles,
Casey OO?

(another one of my lame poems. this one is even worse than the other one, but I wrote it after writing this, so I decided to post it. This one seems very childish!)
I am who I am
Do something, you can

to change me,
It's easy

Just concentrate
And soon I'll be walking straight,
Talking right
I'll stop putting up a fight

I know this is who you want me to be
I'll change all that I am,
I'll stop being me

I'll stop frowning
My positive attitude will be astounding

Everyone will love what I have become
And those who don't, are just being cynical
Therefore, you have won

Even if it isn't really me
I'm being all that you want me to be

Isn't this what you yearned for
A person who everyone adores?

And throughout all the pain and suffering,
Through all the detestable beings
You would never guess that my one enemy,
The entire time, was me

Diet Pills

2006-10-30T02:31:37Z

I know that no one reads my journal, mostly because I have no friends on this site, which is probably for the best because than they could learn about the diet pills, and then get all pissed and . . . ya know. I was just wondering, if anyone knows much about this crap, if ya could help me out. I bought some, don't think I'm not being healthy, although I did go for cheaper rather than proven good, but I made sure not to get one that wasn't meant for anyone under the age of 18. The kind that I got was called Green Tea complex. It probably wasn't even met to be used for weight loss as much as I'd like, but it's a start!
THIRTY-TWO MORE DAYS UNTIL PANIC! IN CONCERT!
Oh, and I thought this was kinda funny (I wrote a few months ago. My god, I suck at writing poetry!):

An eye for An eye
You tell me not to cry
But can you tell me why
Why you told me those lies?

I know that I've been here before
Is that fate knocking on my door?
Am I destined to be
Alone, just me?

And let's say that it is fate at my door
Do you really think I'll come?
You know my grasp on reality is poor
This emotion is making me numb
Can you handle my pain once more

It is this pain that I fear
Is making you stay here
You've had my permission to leave
Or do you lack the ability to believe
In what I say
One way
One day
You'll come to the conclusion
That I don't deserve these contusions

You tell me how to act
And I do just that
Wanting nothing more than to please
I try so hard that it brings you to your knees
My tears hold more power over you than you will ever know
But no one deserves this affliction, so it's time for you to go

The form was HORRIBLE! That's my first complaint, and let's face it, it isn't really complaining about anything that any average teenager doesn't go through. I hate cliches, yet sadly I have become one. That right there, would be a much better line for a poem, if I were to write another one. I love writing, so I guess it might kill me if I do stop. Okay, well, I don' really have a lot to say. If you want to know anything about me, I mean seriously, go look at my xanga page. I have more information in my profile, and I've written much more on it. It's under the same name.
Hasta la tootles, Casey

UGH!

2006-10-25T00:56:24Z

IT DELETED MY ENTRY!